Sunday, June 10, 2012

And You Thought Kidney Stones Were Painful

Ian Darke, ESPN play-by-play commentator, just now during the Spain/Italy game:

"They (Spain) are, of course, quite capable of literally passing the opposition to death."

Emphasis in the original, no less. He took pains to enunciate each syllable, so I have to assume he wanted us to be clear on this. Lit-er-uh-lee. So, does this mean that the Spanish are infamous for leaving the pitch littered with the corpses of their opponents, victims of heart failure and asthma? It's hard to believe this wouldn't have earned at least an official rebuke from FIFA. Or does "literally" modify "passing" rather than "death"? Are they literally passing their opposition? Wouldn't the opposition be chewed, swallowed, digested, and therefore already dead by that point?