Monday, January 04, 2010

Curious Rhetorical Devices I Have Noticed

No one ever thinks they're stupid. It's part of the stupidity!

- Det. Ray Cole

Assert your rugged individuality against the faceless masses! 100% RISK FREE! How? It's easy!

First! Complain about some sort of behavior that everyone can agree to hate!

Second! Make sure that the behavior in question is assumed to be widespread, perhaps even omnipresent! It's no good to complain about something that only a furtive few engages in, say, child molestation. Nothing brave about that!

However! (And this is key!) Despite the assumed widespread prevalence of the behavior, you have to be unable to find a single person who would actually stand as a proud representative of it! This eliminates the risk of actually being taken to task for your statements!

Sample complaints drawn from real-life experiences: "I don't mind driving in the snow, it's just all those other idiots out there..." "I'm not one of those politically correct types who think/say..." "I'm not interested in all the trendy bullshit that passes for entertainment these days..." I bet you can think of a few yourself!

Finally! Enjoy basking in your adulation. You deserve it! You're a heroic individual! Not like all those brain-dead morons out there!